True Friendship

[Johnny]

"True" Friendship
None of that Sissy Nonsense

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems
that always sound good, but never actually come
close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually
speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-

Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against The sorry b*stard who made you sad

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is
choking you.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every
chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories
about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until
you are wellagain. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy arse.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end.

"Why?" you may ask;

"because you are my friend."

Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth.