Post by Johnny on Nov 6, 2007 11:50:27 GMT -2
Rules of life
Rules of life to consider very very seriously really!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
A person, who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
Rules of life to consider very very seriously really!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
A person, who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.