|
|
Post by ***Koala*** on Aug 15, 2006 4:17:23 GMT -2
A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him.
The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down the aisle past the man and his seat mate.
"Hey, biatch," says the parrot, "bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!"
The FA looks annoyed, but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up the.aisle, and the parrot pipes up again:"dammit, you lazy sleeper, where's my whiskey? Hurry it up!" Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly with the parrot's drink. Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides to get some quick service for himself.
"Hey, very *friendly* person," says the man, "get me a dry martini. And don't drag your sorry ass - I want it right now!"
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane. In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants. The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 20,000 feet.
As the two hurtle out the door, the parrot says to the man, "Ya know, for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta balls!"
|
|
|
|
Post by ***Koala*** on Aug 15, 2006 4:19:46 GMT -2
Scottish Wedding...
Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's
forth-coming wedding.
"Och, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organized
already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings,
the minister, even ma stag night...
Archie nods approvingly.
"Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!", continues Jock.
"A kilt?", exclaims Archie, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that!"
"And what's the tartan?", Archie then enquires.
"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white...".
|
|
|
|
Post by ***Koala*** on Aug 15, 2006 4:27:12 GMT -2
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. Possibly he just
Doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to as k the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she possibly may not even have one!
(You Go Girl!)
|
|
