Two Sisters & A Bull

[Heelandcoo]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family
ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they
need to
purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can
breed
their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get
there, if
I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
haul
it home." The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull,
and
decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it
for
$599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister
a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send
a
telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our
ranch. I
need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here
so we
can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad
to
help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying
for
the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.

She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to
send her
the word "comfortable." The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever
going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup
truck
and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send
her
just the word "comfortable?"



The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big.
She'll read it very slowly . com-for-da-bull

[Heelandcoo]

It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.


As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."


The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."


He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...


" The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,----- it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.


"sh1t!" said the Hypnotist.


..... It took three weeks to clean up the senior centre.

[***Koala***]

THUR GUID YIACE HEN AHM STILL AFFIN......LOL
KAOAL

[Heelandcoo]

whit the hell huve ye been oan Koala..ye best hive ah wee dram maire..an mibbie that dyslexia wull go awa.......lol ure should that be affin yur heed Kaoal.......lol lol lol

[Heelandcoo]

stull ye aye gee me ah guid laff....pissin ma sel