True

[Heelandcoo]

An American decided to write a book

about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando,

thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church

taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read

"$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued,

asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for

$10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in

Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw

the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000

he could talk to God.

"O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then travelled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia,

Boston and New York.

In every church he saw the same golden telephone

with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone.

He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call."

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.

"Father, I've travelled all over America and I've seen this same

golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line

to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered,

"You're in Australia now, son - it's

a local call".

KEEP SMILING

[Heelandcoo]

This explains why we forward jokes.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked
like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer,
he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought
right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked. "I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never
been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree
and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took
a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree

"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveller said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold streets and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."


Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without
writing a word. Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you
do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you
forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how,
you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just
another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your
friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.