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Post by Heelandcoo on Mar 7, 2005 6:17:58 GMT -2
An Irishman arrived in Australia and went into a pub in the Outback where he asked for a glass and, having pissed into it, drank it. He then walked out the door, into the chook house and proceeded to knock the hens off their perches prior to going to the paddock, where he lifted the tail of a cow and put his ear to its anus. When he returned to the bar a few minutes later, the publican asked him to explain his strange conduct. “Before I left Dublin,” he said, “I met an Aussie who said there are 3 things I had to do to be a real Australian. Drink the piss. Knock off the birds. And listen to the bullsh1t.”
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Post by Heelandcoo on Mar 7, 2005 6:24:21 GMT -2
Black Fellah to White Fellah
Dear white fellah, There's a coupla tings you orta no. Firstly Wen I am born, I'm black. Wen I grow up, I'm black. Wen I get sick, I'm black. Wen I'm cold, I'm black. Wen I go out in the sun, I'm black. And wen I get scared, I'm black. And wen I die, yes, I'm still black. But you white fellah .... Wen you born, you pink. Wen you grow up, you white. Wen you get sick, you green Wen you cold, you go blue. Wen you go out in the sun, you go red. And wen you get scared, you yellah. And wen you die, you purple And you call me coloured !!
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Post by Heelandcoo on Mar 7, 2005 6:25:08 GMT -2
The Beer Prayer Our Lager Which art in barrels Hallowed be thy drink Thy will be drunk ( I will be drunk ) At home as if in tavern Give us this day our foamy head And forgive us our spillage's As we forgive those who spill against us And lead us not to incarceration But deliver us from hangovers For thine is the beer, the bitter, the lager For ever and ever.... Barmen
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Post by Heelandcoo on Mar 7, 2005 6:30:38 GMT -2
A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer, "What is your business in Australia?" "I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply. The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction record?" Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't think you still needed one."
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